Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize