I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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