Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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