THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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