it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she smelled like a LAN party
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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