look no pants
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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