Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles

Fav 19 4666 883
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick

Fav 12 1305 4351
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(618): View more from Illinois

remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back

Fav 34 5764 1299
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(509): View more from Washington

I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.

Fav 30 5360 2227
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(631): View more from New York

He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.

(205): View more from Alabama

I hate freshman.

Fav 23 2235 5679
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(613): View more from Ontario

Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.

Fav 15 5252 1430
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(513): View more from Ohio

I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.

Fav 19 5784 1409
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.

Fav 1 526 539
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(303): View more from Colorado

I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum

Fav 1 94 18
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