just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I touched a dick in church today
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