I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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