Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
