I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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