You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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