remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
