Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
