its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
