never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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