Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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