Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
