Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
