I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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