hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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