People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
