i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
