It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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