The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sober January is a disaster.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
