Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have aggressive nipples.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
