I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
