So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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