For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
