she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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