Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
