Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
