He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
