i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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