I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
