i think my mom watched the whole time
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Terrible idea I love it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
