The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
