I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
