Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
