New invention idea: vibrating tampons
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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