The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
