Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
