Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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