his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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