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Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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