It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
