so explain again why im purple
no
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
