i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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