so explain again why im purple
no
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
