it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
